I need attention, but the source I want it from is out of reach. So here I am spending my night trying to find a good substitution only to be disappointed because I can't connect. I'm being reminded that once you find something great that something good just isn't good enough.

So where is he? He's busy, something he told me from the start would happen often. Although being busy doesn't mean he has to ignore me entirely. There's no kind word, no phone calls, nothing. He's radio silent and I feel as though I'm stuck on this island sending up flares for no one to see.

My mind wonders if I should text him, call him? No that would be too needy, or is it? Sometimes I'm conflicted on whether I should express genuine emotion when in the past I've been hurt by letting down my guard for a man I know I can't have.


Young at heart

It’s good to be young (as I type this drunk). We have so many years left to experience the beauty of life. The complexities, the joys and the oohs and aahs that are to come. Truly happiness is the meaning of life.