I want to spend all day in bed with you
Talking about us
Our past present and future
Knowing every detail
Each scar and where you got it
I just want to get to know you
I’ll answer every question you have
And inbetween I’ll kiss your chest as I lay my head close to your heart
Hoping each one penetrates the skin and soaks into your feelings for me.
Even though you broke my heart I still want to thank you. You were the first man in my life who was smart kind and intuitive. You spoke honestly about everything and when you knew I liked you beyond our casual relationship you had the balls to sit me down and talk to me like a real man and face the consequences of that talk.
You gave me the courage to be straight forward and honest with the men in my life because you were an example of how beautiful that could be. I wish things didn’t end as they did. You’re such an amazing and gentle soul. I hope you find what you’re looking for, even if it wasn’t me.
I want to love you
When I say I miss you, I really want to mean it
When I picture the man of my dreams, I want his face to be yours
When I come home, I want you on my doorstep
And for the hugs and kisses I give you to be deep and real
But they aren’t and maybe they will never be
But I keep playing this game hoping that things might Change
I just want to say sorry to my past
For being so young and dumb and foolish and selfish
Sorry to old boyfriends friends lovers
For being so wrapped up in myself
That I lost some of the best people in my life because of it
And I want to say sorry to myself for all the years I beat myself up over it
Because I am a better person today…
or so I hope.
When I take pictures it’s usually scenary. Rarely ever people except for maybe the occasional family photo that my mom makes me take. Usually I’m trying to pictures that make me feel happy. A waterfall, some greenery, random animals I encounter. Last week I saw a fat slug climbing the steps at the temple I had visited after reuniting with my family overseas. He wasn’t impressive beyond being above average sized. But it was the high of seeing my family and missing them, before all those messy feelings of resentment settled in.
My photos are always trying to capture a moment of happiness. Something I can’t seem to keep a hold of.
My thought wander down until I’m in a self made tangent. For example:
I wish I could be someone else in some other place in some other time right now
But probably not a slave in 18 something something Or is was it 17 something something
Man I should have paid more attention in American history instead of flirting with George dkaikovich
Everyone said he had a rat face. Long nose and beady eyes. But I always thought rats were cute.
I wish I had a dog. I’d probably be a slightly happier person.
You can only hide behind your sunglasses for so long little girl
Before the tear drops start dripping down your cheeks
Hold your breath as you try to hold it all in
Suffocating in your own skin
Hoping no one sees the real you
To the softness within
You’re only hope is that it might rain
To disguise the pain that you’re in