Envy

I watched with envy 

As she lay her head on his shoulder 

And He placed a kiss on her forward 

I longed for such intimacy 

Those unspoken feelings that didn’t need words 

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Looking like a snack baby girl 

Load me up with your calories 

Fulfill me like sweet sugar pastries 

Got me heading to the gym 

Taking a bite on you 

Got me packing on pounds 

Got me blacking out on this pussy 

Like a diabetes 

Fear of love

Sometimes I make my own head spin, thinking that I don’t know what love truly is. My mothers idea of love is so warped by the way she was ill treated and raised. So in turn I don’t feel like I know what love truly is. For me my mothers love has shown that to love is to forgive, but to a fault. To love until you’re black and blue because the other person may not truly love you, but you’re devoted either way. 

My love is movies and books and old love songs. Things not based in reality 100% of the time. An idealized love without complications. Just happy endings and wind swept hair.