Looking thru my phone book I see all these people. A lot of coworkers. Some exes. A handful of casual acquaintances. A few people who I’m friendly with but don’t really know me well enough to be real long life friends. And then there’s just 3 people I can say I’ve spilled my absolute guts to.
Out of all those numbers there’s not one I feel like telling these things to. And if you’re one of the three people I’m mentioned you might not want to continue on…
Tomorrow’s graduation day. First my oldest friend basically cancels on me and I find out completely by coincidence. If I hadn’t been where I was when I was I wouldn’t have known. I’m really disappointed. I told him these was a huge thing for me. He said he would come. Now I know maybe he could be cancelling for an array of reasons but I feel so offended that he would just ghost me. I feel disrespected unloved and betrayed.
So I came home from that news and decided to relax. Which meant smoking a little weed. I don’t normally smoke much. Just enough to relax, but I felt really anxious so I decided to take some good long hits. Just as I was reading to turn off my lights my mom opens my door. Yells at me for the smell and tells me she’s not going to my graduation because she has told me before she hates the smell. I told her I’ve cut down. But she just wasn’t happy.
So for a minute I felt like absolute shit. Two really important people not coming to my graduation. I wanted to cry. But I decided if she didn’t want to come then that shouldn’t stop me from celebrating my achievements. Just because she hated my smoking didn’t mean my work was worthless. I’m not going to let her ruin things. Not anymore.